Need less to say this has been a trying season for all of us!! I use the word season because that is just what it is a period of time in our lives, this to shall pass.
With the church I feel as though the labor is over, the baby has been pushed out now I am just up all night nursing the baby and learning how to be a mommy all over again in a whole new way. With the Photo Biz I feel like I am potty training some days go great and some weeks go great and then poop in the panties :) lol
In the mist of these huge feelings and life lessons I have two little ones and a husband. 7 brothers and 4 sisters and 5 parents and like 18 grandparents. Not to mention friends and people in my church and my leadership team that all count on me in some way. Lets just say that my Grace level for people in leadership in growing at an astounding rate! I want to do my best at everything that I do and I am a hard worker but often find my self not measuring up to everyones expectations. This is hard for me because I already never ever measure up in my own mind. I am sure that everyone can relate to this in some way.
To go back to one and two, two of the best things in my whole life!! Hadassah and Judah are amazing, they bring me more joy than any thing I ever thought could! They are both so different Hadassah for example is so kind and sweet she knows just what I need when I need it. When I hurt myself on something like stub my toe for example, she always comes to me with a concerning look in her eye and a sweet hand to my cheek asking, "mommy are you ok?" Steal my heart away. She is not perfect but I love her more than I love pointing out her flaws and I want to keep it that way.
And Judah, that blue eyed, blond hair, precious moments boy. He loves to throw his face into mine and sloper kiss me. He pushes both hands up into the air saying, " waise da roofs" ( raise the roof) and makes his corn bread a car verrrming across his tray. He also, gets really mad and throws himself into the wall or the floor and then has to sit in time out and he HATES that.
Although this has been one of the worst years of my life it has also been one of the best. I have had years like this before that were really hard but none that were as "good hard" as this year has been. The one single thing that has made it so different and so much better, is Luke, Hadassah, and Judah... my family. Jesus has been faithful to me even though I am far from perfect, over whelmed, stressed, scared, and unsure.