Luke is about to go to Africa. My heart is both full, over joyed, and breaking. Going to Africa has been a dream for us since before we even knew each other. Before we knew to dream together we had a shared dream of a home, a place, a continent, a people, an orphan. Since we met Africa has been one of four of our biggest dreams, our heart passions. Our hearts had become sick, maybe even a little hard, from the sadness of not going as quickly as we thought we would. A pain we often cried about together, in anger and prayer. Tomorrow a part of this dream we are walking into, maybe not together, but we are one and share this together in our hearts and spirits. All I can see in my minds eye is a door that has been closed, has been towering over us in shame and sadness, opening with a bright light of new.
A little journaling and prayer, help me to make since of it all in my heart. I love that man with all my heart and I cannot wait to hold him again, but I am beyond excited for him. A part of my heart feels ripped out because he is going and I am not. I can think back on so many, so many thoughts, conversations, tears, oh the tears, about the dream of Africa. Yet my wife heart and my mama heart would not change this trip, this timing, this circumstance at all.
6:30am. Judah comes and crawls into Luke's spot in our bed.
"Where is daddy?"
"He went to Africa, remember buddy?"
"I miss him so much already!" He says
"Me to baby, me too."
I think to myself again, as I fall back asleep snuggled up. He is going to Africa. Africa?
7:30am. Luke texts me and says first flight over, I'll call you when I can before I get on the big flight to Africa. There's that word again. My heart jumps, I get to talk to him one last time!!!
8:53am. I get a facetime call from my lover!! He is so excited and I loved talking to him and his team. All the babies get to say hi and see his plane and give him cyber hugs and kisses. Thank you Jesus for facetime! What a treasured talk that was. We got to share a little more of our hearts, and as always he reassured me, "Baby you are coming next!!" I love him.
He is going. It's real. God is so beyond faithful.
I got this!
Pray With Me.